Maybe Lady Gaga should just stick to marrying the night. In the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Mother Monster opens up about her sometimes contentious relationships with the men in her life.

Despite being beloved by millions of fans, Gaga admits, “I have never felt truly cherished by a lover. I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man.” That’s a pretty deep revelation from a pop star to admit during a magazine chat. Gaga was in an on-again, off-again relationship with New York City bartender Luc Carl before it ended earlier this year and has recently been linked to “Vampire Diaries” hottie Taylor Kinney, who co-starred in her “You and I” video, but says her best and healthiest relationship is with her Little Monsters.

“I say this honestly, and this is my new thing as of the past year: when I fight with someone I’m in a relationship with, I think, ‘What would my fans think if they knew this was happening? How would they feel about my work and about me as a female if they knew I was allowing this to go on?’ And then I get out,” she said, noting that her fans have “saved me from myself… I only know the happiness of putting a smile on someone’s face from the stage.”

Admitting that she tends to date creative types, she says her own creativity gets in the way.

“Perhaps it’s a whose-d**k-is-bigger contest. If I go to the piano and write a quick song and play it back, they are angry with how fast and effortless it is,” she says. “That’s who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. But it’s a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone. I had a man say to me, ‘You will die alone in a house bigger than you know, with all your money and hit records, and you will die alone.’”

For those guys, she has this message: “Even though I know it sounds a bit Hallmark, whenever I [was] in that kind of stressful, worthless moment, I would think, ‘I’ll show you,’” she adds. “I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it’s my mind.”

Gaga doesn’t seem to mind that her personal life may suffer for her art, especially given the injustices going on around her, namely those involving LGBT and women’s rights. “How can we create within society a sense of respect and leadership [when a woman is put in a position] where she’s so young and has to make a choice,” Gaga explains. “The problem is not women being irresponsible. The problem is everyone being irresponsible. … How can you deny a woman the right to choose [whether or not] to have a child? It’s completely outrageous.”

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